


Waiting

by orphan_account



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/F, POV First Person, Romance, they are so freacking in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 11:33:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9894737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Summary: Waiting to go on a date, Faith ponders why she's in Sunnydale…and why she loves Buffy so much.Timeline: Third season. Assumes Buffy and Faith are in a romantic relationship, and assumes Faith didn't accidentally kill Finch and go psycho. Beyond that, it could be almost anywhere.





	1. Waiting - Faith P.O.V

* * *

 

So I'm sitting here waiting, sitting on a concrete slab adjacent to the steps leading up to Sunnydale High School, wondering exactly what the fuck I'm doing here.

To dumb down the concept to it's most simple parts, as Giles would doubtlessly say, I'm waiting for Buffy. We've got a lunch date. Of course, Buffy also has school, but she's hardly gonna let such a thing as trigonometry let her miss out on spending 'quality' time (note the sarcastic quotation marks - added myself) with me. Of course, it'll probably end up the two of us freaking out customers at the local Burger King by feeding each other fries as seductively as possible before going to her place for a little tumble in the sack while her mom's still at work, but hey, with all that ahead - who am I to tell her to stay in trig? Besides, I wasn't exactly the most committed student when I was in high school - that is, when I actually _bothered_ to go to school. Or when my mother actually remembered that I had to go to school.

 

I actually didn't mind going to school, back when they still let me enter a school. It was an excuse not to stay at home, at any rate - but I don't like to think about home, so I skip those thoughts as quickly as possible.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning. I'm Faith, I'm from Boston, I'm eighteen, I'm a Slayer, I love Buffy Summers and she loves me, and I'm waiting for her.

And wondering why I'm waiting for her.

 

Oh, just so you know - B isn't the first girlfriend I've had. Well, she is kinda. That is, she's the first one I've really cared about, the first one I've truly enjoyed knowing, enjoyed being with, enjoyed loving. If your definition of 'girlfriend' or 'lover' is 'someone you can't bare to be without for more than half an hour and someone who occupies your mind every waking and sleeping moment, someone, in short, with whom you've fallen completely in love with', then yeah, Buffy's the first.

 

However, if your definition of 'girlfriend' or 'lover' fits more around 'someone you fuck several times then generally lose interest in, to the extent that the mere possibility of feeling something like love for this person sends you into hysterics', then B definitely isn't the first. Not by a long shot. Back home in Boston, I wasn't exactly known for my stability in relationships. I tended to go for the gorgeous chicks with nice tits and hot asses or the guys you could just tell packed a pretty impressive package. Usually, it was a different chick or guy every night, then I'd send them packing. Oh, some of them I spent more time with - but it got old real quick, you know? I'd feel tied down and cramped in no time. Oh, and couple that with the time I'd spend chasing (and, more often than not, scoring) anything with a cute butt - male or female. Didn't exactly make for long-lasting romantic bonds with people.

 

Or it'd be the other way. I'd be with someone, and I'd feel really good, but then I'd start to feel different. I'd start to enjoy being with them, I'd like them, I'd see them in completely different eyes, and then I'd realize - I was falling for them. And of course, any hint of love sends me spiralling into a blind panic and I'd get the hell outta there before dooming us both to a life of heartbreak and misery.

So how come I'm so hung up on B now?

Why is it rather than dragging myself off to new places and finding new scores, I'm waiting here to go out on a date?

How come I'm still hanging around even though I'm way beyond the point of no return? How come I've let myself fall in love with her?

 

It's certainly not being in Sunnydale, that's for goddamn certain. And not because it's situated above a portal leading to a dimension populated entirely by demons, resulting it being a beacon for every vampire and blood sucking freak in the world. Hell, I _like_ that part. It means I get to kick some serious ass without any repercussions. Hell, the school psychologists always said I had a problem controlling my aggression. Perfect solution - beat the crap not out of people who you hate, who piss you off somehow or who just somehow happen to get in your way when you're completely smashed, but kick the crap out of the things society calls monsters.

 

No therapy, no smug psychologist bastard turning everything you say into a metaphor for how fucked up you are. Kick the crap out of something, gets rid of all the rage, leaves you feeling only hungry and horny afterwards. And with Buffy around, those are both pretty good things to feel - especially when she does this little thing with her tongue and a tub of peanut butter…

Oh. Wait a second. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Sunnydale. Mouth of Hell, all that. Yeah, well, the Hellmouth's great.

 

The town itself, however, is conservative suburbanite picket fence _death_ for a girl like me.

Christ, one look around the place'll tell you that. Place is so goddamn saccharine it's not funny. It's like a throwback to the fifties, somewhere like Mayberry or one of those towns in things like _Leave it to Beaver_ where everyone's got a picket fence and spends their time grinning inanely and waving to each other. Talk about a Pleasantville nightmare.

No wonder the Hellmouth's taken up residence here - you look for evil in places like Sarajevo, places that have had the shit blown out of them and all the hope kicked out of them with metal jackboots. You don't look in places with names like goddamn Sunnydale. Sounds like something outta 'The Smurfs', fer chrissakes.

 

Which brings me very neatly to the other point about Sunnydale. It's all pretty much rich conservative hetero white folks who are living epitomes of the Moral Majority. Which means there aren't exactly a lot of people who have open alternate sexualities. Or any sexualities at all, it seems. Jesus, you'd think the people here were allergic to getting laid. Before Buffy and I started getting up close and personal, I was about ready to explode. I mean, there's only a certain length of time you can push your own buttons before you begin to crack.

No sirrie, if Buffy wasn't here, then this goddamn piece of shit town would have kissed my beautiful ass goodbye a long time ago. Hell, usually a piece of flesh I have in any town's not enough to keep me down once it's time to move on.

Which, once again, reminds me why I stay here... Buffy!

 

The sex doesn't matter when I'm with Buffy. No wait, I can't lie about that. The sex _is_ important, (and it's great, incidentally), but it's not just sex, you know?

It's something more, something better than the best orgasms ever experienced - and I've had some of them, let me tell you. It's like we connect when we make love, and I've never felt that before. She's more to me than just a good lay, that's for certain. We talk - we _connect_. I've told her things I'd never tell anyone else, things about my childhood, about my Mom and her 'friends', about the pain and fear, I experienced everyday, about hiding around school overnight rather than go home to another evening of beatings and abuse. And she listens. And she still _loves me_ , and I still love her, and despite the fact that she knows all this.

 

I'm still here. I'm waiting for her, and she wants to meet me. Why?

Maybe it's because we're both Slayers - Giles reckons we have this connection, deep down, 'cos we go through things no one except the other can possibly understand. Not Xander, not Red, not her Mom, hell, not even Giles. No one except me and her truly understands what it is to live this life. Maybe that's why I like being with her so much. Maybe that's why I love her so much. I mean, if either she or I hadn't been a Slayer and we'd met, we'd probably have loathed each other. As it happens, I can hardly breath when she's not around. And frankly, that scares the shit outta me.

 

I'm not used to being in love. I don't think I've ever been in love before, actually, and it frightens me. I'm not good with the whole emotion-love-relationship thing, as you might guess, and I'm frightened that I'll do something to screw it up, or that one morning she'll wake up and realize I'm a messed-up freak and decide I'm not worthy to be on the same planet as her. And the funny thing is, both of those fears are entirely valid. In my mind at least - she's repeatedly tried to assure me on both accounts, but self-doubt and paranoia are two of my oldest friends.

 

Now normally, if I even felt a quarter of what I feel about Buffy about someone, my bags would be packed and I'd be outta there. So why haven't I?

Why am I putting myself through this whole relationship thing?

Why am I preparing myself for what could be heartache?

How come I love Buffy Summers enough to hang around outside a school and go on a date with her when every instinct I have screams at me to run and find a simple airhead I can screw and forget?

 

"Hey."

 

She's trotting down the school steps now, blonde hair glinting in the California light, wearing a nice black top and a pair of not-too-tight blue jeans. Much better than the pastels she likes. There's something about Buffy that makes me wanna grab her and run to the nearest warm, comfy bed, climb in with her, and never climb out again, and yet feeling this way kinda makes me wanna run as far as I can out of town and away from feeling this way. And there's yet _another_ part of me that just wants to hold her tight and never let go ever again. Jesus, is falling in love _meant_ to be this complicated?

 

In the end, I just settle for the middle ground in replying with "Hey." and then giving her a kiss on the lips. Not a really deep, lustful, passionate kiss that seizes us or the tiny little pecks we usually grace each other with after we've made love. Just a nice kiss, a bit of tongue, lips meeting softly. The kind of kiss people in love give each other. Nothing special. It'd probably get Xander's grand libido stimulated, but then that boy'd get horny seeing us shaking hands.

When we break apart, she's smiling and my lips taste of strawberry. It's probably her lip gloss, but I have a sneaking suspicion she tastes like that naturally. It suits her.

"You look…great. In those clothes." What is it about this girl? She can knock my I.Q back into single figures with just her presence, one word and a kiss. She can keep me in this dead-end town full of repressed losers and hideous monsters, and keep me by her side when usually if a relationship even hinted at going this far or if I got tired of it I'd be on my way faster than a cheetah.

Her smile grows slightly more wicked. "Thanks. You too look great. Especially in those clothes." She leans closer and whispers. "So great, in fact, that I'm thinking of getting you _out_ of those clothes." Her hand entwines with mine, delicate, soft fingers criss-crossing with my own. "You ready to go, babe?"

"Whenever you are."

As she drags me off, still holding my hand, away from the school through the tree-lined streets to - wherever, I begin wondering once again what it is about her that makes me stay here beside her, makes me follow her wherever, makes me love her so much that I weather all this fear and uncertainty just to be in her presence.

And then, for a while at least, I decide it doesn't matter. It's a lovely day, Buffy's with me, and I love her more than anything, my own life included. It doesn't matter why - all that matters is that it is, and I'm gonna make sure that this is the way it stays forever.

And no one's gonna screw it up. Especially not me.

* * *

 


	2. Anticipation - Buffy P.O.V

Faith and I have a date this lunchtime.

We both like the lunchtime dates. It's probably because our evenings are usually spent battling various hideous monsters and reducing blood-sucking demons to piles of dust that couldn't fit in an ashtray. Not exactly the best time to really enjoy each other's company. And that gets tiring soon, and it's even nicer to be with each other when we have the energy and stamina to really enjoy each other's company…but such thoughts aren't really appropriate to survive Mrs. Campbell's civics class, so I try and replace them with something non-provocative and hope no one saw me squirm slightly.

 

Of course, I have trig right after this, but hell - odds are, I could be sliced and diced by a creature with antlers and claws next week, so it's not exactly as if I could really give a damn about trigonometry. Not when I have Faith waiting for me, and Faith's taught me things which, although perhaps not quite as educational, are certainly infinitely more satisfying - oh damn! Civics, civics, civics…

 

I'm in love with Faith, by the way. But that's probably pretty obvious.

She's so…vibrant, you know? She just seems to energise an entire room by her presence. The way she burst into my life so energetically, like an explosion of black leather pants and attitude. Figures that's she'd be the opposite of Angel - he tiptoed his way into the threshold of my life, keeping to the shadows, developing our relationship as quietly and calmly as possible. And Faith goes and kicks down the door. Plus, we rammed a wooden beam through a vampire so old he'd began to evolve into a weird goat-legged thing. Always good for bonding.

 

I dunno if I ever felt this way about Angel. I loved him, certainly, and part of me always will, but I dunno if it was ever this intense, this deep. I guess Angel and I never truly, deep down, understood each other as much as Faith and I do. When I think of it now, after him, it's kind of obvious. He's two hundred and forty-two years old, after all, and I'm eighteen, he's a vampire and I'm a Slayer, he's a guy, I'm a girl…a lot of differences. Plus, even if I wanted to, we'd have never really got back together - we're too different, and we could never enjoy a proper life together. Plus my friends would never have truly accepted him after last year. We've made our peace, and I hope he's happy for me, but we aren't as close as we used to be.

 

I honestly dunno what it is about Faith that makes me love her more than my own life, even. Does anyone who truly loves someone know that? We just seem to know each other perfectly, you know? We just seem to know everything about each other, even what the other's thinking. Giles thinks it's because we're both Slayers, and because of the near impossibility of there being two concurrently, we're more psychically attuned to the other - whatever that means. It means we have better co-ordination and teamwork when we fight vampires. Synchronised Slaying. The Chosen Two.

I like that.

 

Plus, when we first met, I was pretty sullen about the whole Angel-expulsion-running away thing. I mean, I'd just came back, everyone was looking at me suspiciously as if I'd bolt the second they took their eyes off me. There was this big wedge between my friends and me, Giles and Mom had me on a twenty-four seven eyes-always-on-me routine, and I'd had to send my boyfriend to hell and was agonising about it endlessly. Plus, I'd just entered into yet another of my patented relationship disaster areas, so when Faith showed up I wasn't exactly at my most emotionally stable.

 

And then, Faith was someone who didn't judge me, who didn't doubt or suspect me, who didn't have a load of emotional baggage with my name on it. Someone who I could talk to, someone who listened to me and sympathised with me. Someone who knew what I went through every day, someone who didn't put me on a pedestal then resent me for not reaching their too-high ideals. Someone who knew me as much as I knew her. Someone who, in different circumstances, could have been me, just as I could have been her.

 

I guess falling in love with her was just the next step. I mean, it's like there's a window into my soul that only she can see and one for her that only I can see. It's like we've been bonded together. I don't like to use the word 'soul mate' much, but if anyone fit that criteria, then Faith would. Perhaps I was just meant to fall for her.

As well as that, in a totally physical sense, she's completely irresistible. As I've learnt, often to our peril, when our many cemetery make-out sessions are rudely interrupted by some vampire jerk wanting to prove he's got the balls to take on the Chosen Two. They usually learn otherwise. Plus, the whole kissing thing often works as a lure for the male vampires - it seems testosterone and the male fantasy about two chicks at it still operates after vampirism. Of course, Giles absolutely refuses to put that into the Watcher Diaries.

 

Finally! The nightmare ends, civics finishes, and I'm free. With almost indecent haste (as well as everyone in the class, Mrs. Campbell desperately shouting the homework assignments to our backs), I pack up my things and exit into the corridor, heading directly to my locker.

 

And of course, suddenly Xander's next to me.

"Uh-oh." He remarks, grinning that lopsided grin that's so irritatingly cute. "Someone looks like they're full of pep. Should I be worried?"

"Depends on what worries you." I remark coyly.

"You and Faith going out again?"

"In just a couple of minutes." I reply in that deceptively casual tone that fools no one as to my true feelings, which is I wanna run down the corridor to the front and find her.

"Oh. Is this just a lunch date, or are certain interesting applications of various dairy products going to be a staple part of today's activities?" he asked, his grin effortlessly becoming more lecherous.

I'm sure the force of my glare could melt him into a puddle of horrible red icky stuff on the floor in an instant, would glares be able to do that. The frightening thing is, he has no idea of how right he can be sometimes. Mom's still wondering where that honey disappeared too…

 

I reluctantly drag myself to the present away from that happy, if sticky, memory, back to where Xander's still smirking wickedly at me. Damn, have to come up with a retort. "And of course, if there were, I suppose you'd volunteer to test them out for us."

At my tone, he adopts a mock wounded expression.

"Hey, just looking out for you guys. Anything I can do to help, and all."

I can't help but grin at the puppy-like enthusiasm he has. Seriously, it's great the way that my friends and loved ones seem to have accepted Faith and I being an item. I kinda expected more opposition, particularly from Mom and Xander. But then, I guess that after the revelation that your daughter / best friend fights vampires as a sort of nightly hobby, and has for the last few months been romantically involved with a two hundred and forty-two year old vampire, who lost his soul and became a psycho when you engaged in sexual relations with him, the revelation that your daughter / best friend has realised she's a lesbian and has fallen hopelessly in love with another Slayer comes as a bit of an anti-climax. Of course, the fact that Faith's so irresistibly likeable and charming probably has something to do with it as well. Mom certainly likes her more than Angel. Of course, she'd probably be a lot less placid if she knew what we got up to in the house when she's at work…

 

It's also great that Xander likes Faith and has no real problems with her. When I was with Angel, he wasn't happy - partly cause I think he jonesed after me himself, and partly because he didn't trust Angel, which he was partially right in thinking, in the end. I never used to like the tension that existed between us whenever Angel was around us or whenever we talked about him, and it's great that there's none of that with Faith.

Of course, he probably entertains fantasies of a threesome these days or something. Faith and I have probably added volumes to his fantasy library.

 

There was a little problem with Willow, but I think she was kinda jealous - when me and Faith first got together, I was kind of absentee friend, but we've made up since then. And Giles actually encouraged us - said it was excellent for our slaying dynamic or something, that an emotional attachment would heighten our psychic connection and would make us more defensive of the other, or something. I guess that's his manner of a blessing. We still smooch in front of him, though, just to make him uncomfortable.

"I'll keep that in mind." I reply to his comment dryly. "See you later?"

"You're coming back? With Faith to go to?"

I narrow my eyes at his implication, however true it is. "Not willingly. Giles has some Slayer stuff he wants to go through with us. Until then, it's Faith and me. And only Faith and me."

I add with haste, seeing the beginnings of a smartass remark in his eyes.

He pouts at his denied opportunity. "Fine, be that way. Deny me my fantasy. See if I care. Looks like I'll just have to come up with a really lame cover story for your trig class, then. That'll teach you."

"Do whatever you have to." I reply cheerfully. "See you later. Tell Will, Oz and Cordy I said bye."

"Will do. Tell Faith I said hi. And mention my proposal?" He asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"She'll laugh hysterically. Then give you the mother of all wedgies."

He grins. "You're too kind. See ya!"

 

And with that, he disappears into the rapidly diminishing crowd, heading off to trig. If I wasn't so excited about seeing Faith, I'd pity him. But instead, I pack everything into my bag but the bare essentials and then stuff it into my locker, locking it. I'll pick it up later.

Keeping a watch-out for any teacher who may question my leaving school grounds during the school day - particularly Snyder (not that I'd listen to him anyway, but I don't want to be held up by that little weasel), I walk to the main entrance and walk out. And of course, like always, my breath is taken by who I see, as always.

 

She's so…beautiful. It's impossible to believe she doesn't see it herself. She's so self-doubtful, deep down, and she's had such a hard life - it breaks my heart to think of all the ways she considers herself inadequate and worthless, and I could just kill the people who've ever hurt her after listening to some of her tearful revelations (which she swears I'm the first to know, and makes me promise to remain silent).

Wearing, as ever, a pair of very tight black leather pants (trouser-wise, she only seems to own a wardrobe of black leather, denim or spandex), and a white shirt, when I approach she appears to be deep in thought.

"Hey." I say, trotting down the steps to see her. And the way her face lights up when she sees me is a miracle to behold. As always, it's as if the world disappears in her presence, and she's the only thing to pay attention to. The only thing worth paying attention to.

 

"Hey." She replies softly, and we kiss gently, not caring who sees us. It's kind of an open secret around school that we're together, and there's always the jerks or the small-minded morons who hate anything different than themselves that have something to say. The rest tend to not bother us, and even that minority of horny jerks, fundamentalists and snotty bitches dim down, probably because they fear what we'd to them if they got on our wrong side. Having a reputation as a delinquent can come in handy, sometimes.

On another note, I get on pretty well with Larry these days, however. Probably expressing alternate lifestyle solidarity. He's not such a bad guy, since he gave up the chauvinist emotional compensation part of his nature.

 

But even if there was anyone watching us, I certainly wouldn't care, because that kiss is everything I love about Faith, from the deep part of her that only I seem to reach - soft, gentle, sweet, yet with a hint of passion and promise. When we finally break away, I can't keep the grin off my face, and she licks her lips. Probably my lip-gloss - although, we're both pretty hungry, in ways that don't only include food.

"You look…great. In those clothes." I can't help but smile more. She's so cute when she's nervous.

"Thanks. You too look great. Especially in those clothes." I lean closer, injecting a note of sultry promise into my voice as I whisper. "So great, in fact, that I'm thinking of getting you out of those clothes." As I softly take her hand, making sure to brush her fingers just enough to fill me with that little tingle that I get whenever I touch her, she grins wickedly. "Ready to go, babe?" I ask.

"Whenever you are."

I begin to lead her off in the direction of…wherever. It doesn't matter. Burger King, Pizza Hut, Restfield Cemetery…hell, I'd happily live in the North Pole wearing only a thong if she was with me. The little details like where we are and who knows I'm gay don't matter. None of it matters. All that matters is that I'm in love with Faith and Faith's in love with me.

And all's right with the world. Even in Sunnydale.

* * *

 


	3. Morning Conversations

"All right, all right, I'm up!!" Faith grumbled from beneath the comforter as Buffy gave her another shake.  
  
"Be downstairs in 10 minutes Faith; we have to have breakfast and then get the basement prepared for today's training session," the blonde slayer said as she pulled on her tank top and sweatpants.  
  
"Can't we just forget about it today?" Faith asked hopefully, making a cute little face.  
  
"Don't even think about it!" Buffy smiled at her love before giving her a quick kiss.  
  
"Everyone else gets to sleep in," Faith whined, sounding more like Dawn than herself.  
  
"Faith, you and I are not 'everyone,' we're the Chosen Two and we have to help get the Potentials in shape," Buffy answered, taking the younger slayer into her arms and holding her for a moment before getting up and heading out of the door.  
  
"Great, just what I needed, another lecture on the 'Chosen Two,'" Faith mumbled under her breath, "how come we just can't have a day off" she said to the empty room.  
  
"I heard that!" Buffy called from her position halfway down the stairs, her Slayer hearing picking up on Faith's protestations.  
  
"Just so you know, I meant you to," the dark haired woman replied as she walked into the bathroom to shower, reappearing 10 minutes later all fresh and clean.  
  
"Kiss me, honey, honey, kiss me!" Faith sang as she made her way downstairs and into the kitchen.  
  
"Listen to you all singy and happy. You weren't like that 20 minutes ago," Buffy pointed out as she put the griddle on the stove for pancakes.  
  
"Must have been the Herbal Essence... it's orgasmic you know?" Faith grinned.  
  
"No, I didn't! Need to try it for myself..." The blonde slayer said, pausing for thought.  
  
"Oh, I think you should too." The dark haired girl purred, coming up behind Buffy and slipping her arms around her.  
  
"Perhaps we can test the theory later?" Buffy replied, turning in Faith's embrace and capturing the other woman's lips for a short but passionate kiss, causing the younger woman to moan.  
  
"Quiet, the others will be coming down soon!" Buffy giggled at the disgusted look on Faith's face.  
  
"Right, cause it's not like they haven't heard us before," Faith quipped, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"So, I don't want them to hear us again" Buffy blushed.  
  
"Take it from me, babe, when we get started, there is no way they're NOT gonna hear us!" Faith said waggling her eyebrows and ducking from Buffy's swat to her head.  
  
"Uuuuuugh, you're just so crass sometimes." Buffy made a disgusted face.  
  
"Very, but that's why ya love me." Faith grinned, grabbing Buffy and pulling her in for a heart stopping kiss.  
  
"Well..." Buffy paused before giggling and kissing Faith once more.  
  
"Xander would love this, you know? And I can just hear what he would say right now if he were here." Buffy smiled after the kiss broke apart.  
  
"Yeah, I can just imagine what he'd say." Faith shook her head.  
  
"Zzowie!" Both women said in unison, before breaking off into peels of laughter.


End file.
